Archive for April, 2011
Children should be seen, or maybe not
Many small towns have a local newspaper and the one I live in is no exception. Once a week someone throws a paper onto the end of my driveway expecting that I’ll read it and patronize the local businesses who advertise in it. As you can imagine, there isn’t much worthy of being read in something produced with such low expectations. However, I have found that the police reports provide the most entertainment value.
Oh those wacky things my neighbors will do.
Occasionally, one can draw deeper value from the reports. Consider the following report:
Weapons violations: Three male juveniles were playing “war” with Airsoft guns in an abandoned lot. Two of the juveniles… had been warned the day prior about playing with Airsoft guns in the city limits… The guns were taken…
And then, 50 some minutes later:
Sex offense, other: Police received a report of four juvenile males “mooning” traffic by exposing their bare bottoms and honking their vehicle’s horn to get attention.
Well, it’s pretty obvious what happened here. After the police took their Airsoft guns away, they got with their friend who owns a car and went out to entertain themselves.
Maybe the toy guns weren’t so bad.
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